Lilliana something who lives in New York and Boston, is a single Asian American woman who actively dates. Needless to say, her Tinder inbox is a hot mess. She posts screenshots of their messages alongside photos of herself looking stoic, fierce and totally over it.
You hate Asian men, they insist; you hate your own child. You hate yourself. I save these messages in a folder on my computer to document the abuse.
I was talking to another Asian friend about dating — bad dates, embarrassing dates, funny dates — when we inevitably got to the topic of dating as women of color. A guy I used to date asked one day to look at my eyes up close. He preferred women without make-up, but I have sparse eyebrows and monolids, like a lot of Asian women, which means I usually need a little more eye makeup than most.
In a speed-dating study conducted at Columbia University inAsian men also had the most difficulty getting a second date. My parents grew up financially unstable in China. They look back at it and laugh now, but my mother recalls having to share one bowl of rice for dinner with all her siblings.
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There are many myths and stereotypes when it comes to dating asian guys. Some are completely outlandish and some are, well, a little more spot on. Multiple articles and studies discuss how cultural stereotypes of Asian men may make them less attractive to women of all races, including Asians.
When I was in my second year of university, a stranger approached a friend and me on the streets of Melbourne, asking to photograph us for his website about interracial couples. A little taken aback, we told him we weren't together but had friends that might fit the bill. He went on to explain that many of his friends were Asian men who thought Anglo-Australian women just weren't interested in dating them.
Ever heard of yellow fever? No, not the disease you can pick up when travelling to certain countries. I'm talking about when Caucasian men develop an acute sexual preference for East Asian women — even becoming a fetish, for some.
Asian cultural fetish refers to an obsession with Asian countries, traditional cultures, celebrities, pop cultures animations, music, etc. A related term is Asiaphile. Asian sexual fetish refers to non-Asian people with an exclusive sexual preference for Asian people. Specifically, the term usually refers to White men with an exclusive sexual preference for Asian women.